haplesshairpile | [for maeve, early september]

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maeve

[for maeve, early september]

Steve knows that not telling Maeve that he's starting classes at the community college is a calculated risk, but he had his reasons, and he thinks that those reasons were worth it, even if she does end up being mad at him. Maybe she won't, maybe she'll understand. He thinks she will, but he also just assumes that he's gonna screw something up.

He hadn't wanted to overwhelm himself right off the bat, and he still has his job at Phoenix to consider, so he signed up for two classes. Now that he's gone to them both and hasn't decided that he's going to quit in shame, he decides that it's time to tell the girl that he's been keeping it from.

On the way to Maeve's place, he stops to get her favorite cookie from a bakery she likes, and then makes another stop to get her coffee. It's not unusual for Steve to bring her treats, which he usually does just because he wants to make her smile, but this time he definitely wants to butter her up a bit.

Thankfully she's home alone, which Steve knows because her roommate was sucking face on the couch with his roommate when he left. Sometimes he thinks that he should bring up the idea of Steve and Rue just switching, but now it feels a little too soon after the Baby Incident.

Once he's outside her door, he takes a deep breath and tilts his head back for a minute, staring at the ceiling like he's saying a silent prayer, and then rolls his shoulders before reaching out to knock on the door.

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Maeve is expecting Steve, although not with cookies and coffee, which might have given her pause on another day, but given how good things have been since the whole baby conversation, and how she's been head down in a book almost all day, she's just happy for the offerings.

"Hey," she says when she opens the door and steps back to let him in. "If those things aren't for me, you're an awful tease, and I'm going to send you right back out to get some for me."

She's already reaching for the coffee as she says this, leaning in for a kiss at the same time. Even if it isn't for her, she thinks she can steal it with a kiss in exchange.

"Do I make a habit of bringing things over and not sharing?" Steve asks with a small laugh, handing off the coffee as he ducks his head to meet her brief kiss. Now that he sees her, he isn't quite as nervous. Maeve isn't unreasonable. She's kind of the opposite, in fact. So yeah, a little nervous, but his knees aren't trembling like they were in the elevator, so that's probably a good sign.

"How was your day, honey?" He asks, teasing her with the endearment as he kicks off his shoes and heads for the sofa. "Is Rue here?"

"Long," she answers before she takes a sip of the coffee, then follows Steve toward the couch. "I've been working on an assignment for my science class. It's a big one."

Maeve does well in all her courses, though she's only taking this one as a requirement for her degree. It certainly isn't her main area of interest and she's honestly just looking to get it done.

"Rue's out," she says. "I'm not sure where."

"You'll crush it," Steve says easily, without a doubt, because Maeve is good at school. He's also mildly annoyed because she's given him a perfect opening to talk about exactly what he came here to talk about, so he can't really put it off any longer.

"Speaking of school," he says after a moment, running his fingers through his hair before sitting next to her on the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees as he looks over at her. "I've got something to talk to you about, actually."

"Yeah?" she asks, taking another sip of the coffee and then turning herself to sit sideways, her knee bent, shin pressed along the outside of Steve's thigh. "What is it?"

She worries, for a moment, he might be about to tell her she's spending too much time at school. Some guys wouldn't like the dedication she has to her education, she knows that, but as soon as she thinks it, she dismisses it. Steve isn't like that, he's never done anything but support her.

It has to be something else.

Honestly, Steve's been dreading this moment but he's also glad that it's here. He felt like shit keeping something big about his life from her, and maybe he didn't go about it the right way, but it makes sense to him. He just hopes that it makes sense to her, too.

"Uh, well. You know how I've been thinking more about what I want to do? As like, a career, or whatever?" He bites his lip and reaches up to scratch at the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair.

"I want to do something with kids, but I'll need a degree, so I registered at the community college. And I just finished my first week of classes," he tells her, eyes big and dark, pleading with her not to be mad. "I didn't tell you, but I have a reason for that."

It doesn't even occur to Maeve to be angry with him. Steve says he's enrolled in classes at the community college, he's just finished his first week, and a slow smile begins to spread across her face before he's even through. She registers the look in his eyes, as if he's asking her for something, but she can't think what it might possibly be.

He says there's a reason he didn't tell her and she assumes he'll tell her what that reason is, but honestly, she doesn't mind.

"Steve, that's bloody amazing," she says, slipping closer to loop her arm around his shoulders. She leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth, then sits back again, looking at him with a proud smile. "How did it go?"

It's not as if Maeve is prone to anger. She's by far the most understanding girlfriend that he's ever had, but it still surprises Steve a little that she doesn't seem to mind at all that he kept something from her.

She throws her arms around him, happy for him, and Steve spends a second looking very confused before he returns the hug. Don't get him wrong, he's grateful that she isn't upset, but it throws him a little. But maybe it shouldn't, he realizes. Maeve just seems to get him and how his dumb brain works.

"It was good! It was really good," Steve says with a smile, shaking off the surprise and finding it replaced with a dopey grin. She looks so proud of him and that makes him so happy, but it also reaffirms his decision to not tell her until he'd gone. "Don't you want to know why I didn't tell you until now?"

Maybe he should have just let it go, but he still wants to explain himself, even if she isn't upset with him.

"Alright," she says, since he seems like he wants to tell her. She had assumed, maybe unfairly, that he'd been worried it might not work out, that he might not like it or change his mind, and that he'd felt embarrassed by that possibility.

She wouldn't have judged him for it, for any of it, but she can understand someone feeling that way and not wanting to share.

But Steve wants to tell her and she's so happy for him now, so proud of him, that she doesn't imagine he'll say anything she won't want to hear.

This is going so much better than expected, and Steve feels kind of stupid. He'd been so stressed about this, tossing and turning and worrying that she would be upset, and he's realizing that it has very little to do with her at all. He still lives in fear of upsetting people, and it isn't hard to imagine why. Growing up, it never really went too well for him when he did.

"I just-- I really wanted to be sure that I was doing it for myself, you know?" Steve tells her, biting his bottom lip as he takes her hands in his, thumbing at her knuckles. "I was worried that if I told you and I didn't end up liking it, I'd keep going for you just to keep that look on your face, because I love it so much when you look at me like this." He lifts one hand to her cheek, cradling it gently and touching the pad of his thumb to the corner of her mouth. "And I know that wouldn't be the right reason to go, so I just wanted to be sure. I didn't want to let anyone down, including me. If that makes sense."

He cringes a little, nose wrinkling, and then looks at her expectantly.

Somehow, that makes Maeve more proud of him. She knows his parents weren't exactly present, for different reasons than her own, but absent is absent, no matter what the reason. Wanting to do something for himself, truly for himself, that's a big step forward, something Maeve had struggled with for years after her mum left.

"It wouldn't be the right reason," she agrees. "And I'm glad you're doing it for yourself. It makes complete sense."

She smiles and lifts her hand to cover his on her cheek. "I'm really proud of you. You're the only one you ever need to do any of this for. I love you no matter what."

All the anxiety that's been festering over this conversations seems to leave him all at once, like air out of a balloon, and Steve feels a little dumb for being so worried. Of course she understands. She gets him.

"I should have given you more credit," he admits, swallowing hard and smiling apologetically. "College was just-- it was a big thing with me and Nancy."

He doesn't talk about Nancy often these days, but he's told Maeve about her, and about most of the reasons why it didn't work out. He's over her by now, was a long time ago, but the insecurities that break up gave him are still there, waiting to be a problem.

But all that shit doesn't matter. What matters is now, him finally in school and Maeve proud of him, and Steve takes a deep, cleansing breath before leaning in to rest their foreheads together. "I love you, too. Thank you for being like, the best girlfriend ever. Sometimes-- I just can't believe how lucky I am."

Maeve doesn't get that, why someone would make another person feel shitty because they didn't want to or couldn't go to university. She'd never expected to have the chances she does in Darrow and different things are right for different people. Not everyone has the same path and while she loves learning and education, she also knows it isn't right for everyone.

"I am a very good girlfriend," she agrees, smiling with her lips pressed together. "But probably just for you. I don't think I'd be a good girlfriend for many others."

"Yeah, well. I'm not a very good boyfriend to anyone else either," Steve admits, shrugging a little as he pulls back to look at her, cradling the side of her face in one hand. "So, I guess it's good that we found each other, huh?"

When he leans in to kiss her, she tastes like coffee and sugar and Steve hums happily as he licks at the seam of her lips until she parts them and Steve can suck the taste from her tongue.

Steve has a long history of being a terrible boyfriend. Even the first time that he actually tried, really gave it his all, he still wound up being bad at it. But Maeve is different. They're different, but she gets him. They understand each other, for the most part. They talk things out like adults and they still fuck like rabbits and he feels absolutely dopey for her all of the time.

"I think we're amazing," he admits when he breaks the kiss, breathing in deep and shifting his hand up into her hair. "I really do."

"Yeah, I think we're pretty great," she agrees. More now than she had before. They've made it through a pretty significant shake up, the sort of thing that would break a lot of relationships and honestly, while she would have been heartbroken, she also would have understood if it had all proved to be too much for Steve.

But it didn't. They're on the other side, both willing to see where life takes them, and she thinks that's really fucking cool.

"And you're going to be great," she says. "Tell me more about your classes."

"Let's reasonably manage expectations," Steve says with a self-conscious chuckle, though it does make him happy to know that Maeve really seems to believe in him. She isn't just playing the part of a supportive girlfriend. She actually thinks he can do it, and that helps Steve to think the same thing. It quiets the voices in his head telling him that he'll never make it.

"Uh, well. I talked to an advisor who said it would be better to get the core classes done at the community college, and then transfer over to Barton to work on a degree in child development," Steve tells her, and it's kind of obvious by his expression that he feels a little out of his depth. "So, I'm just starting with like, the most basic English and science classes to see how it goes. I like both the professors. They seem way more chill than any teacher I had in high school."

"Hey, don't do that," she says, still looking at Steve with care, though her expression has gone lovingly concerned. "You're doing this because you want to, not because you think you have to, and you're bloody smart. You're going to do great."

As he tells her about how it's gone so far, she relaxes into another smile and leans back, head tipped against his shoulder.

"I think that's normal," she says. "College is so different from secondary school. There's nothing to be gained from the teachers being arseholes."

Steve isn't used to people believing in him when he doesn't have a ball in his hand. Maeve's words make him feel so shivery with emotion, and he actually spends a moment feeling guilty for ever thinking that this conversation was going to go any other way. Maeve always believes in him.

"Thank you," he tells her, but the words feel too small for what she gives him, so he wraps his arms around her to pull her into his lap, her back against his chest, ass resting on the insides of his thighs. "God, I love you."

He chuckles softly and ducks his head to press a kiss to the side of her neck, giving her a squeeze before suddenly blowing a raspberry just under her ear.

"Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you?" she asks, squirming and laughing at the same time as he vibrates his lips against her skin. There's nothing at all wrong with him, nothing wrong with them, and she wraps her arms over Steve's where they're around her torso.

"I love you, too, even though you're a bloody weirdo," she says, sinking into his lap, leaning against his chest. She's comfortable here, with him, and that means so much to her. Maybe more than Steve knows.

"Oh, so many things," Steve drawls out, grinning and nosing under her ear as she laughs. Maybe he's biased, but he's pretty sure her laugh is the best sound in the world. "But you're stuck with me. No exchanges or refunds."

He's pretty sure that Maeve is it for him, the mythical One, but he isn't sure what to do about it. She said that she might be open to marriage, but it feels like they're too young for that and after all they've been through recently, he thinks that he'd be too raw from the Baby Talk to ask her, too afraid that she would turn him down.

It would be nice if they lived together, waking up together each morning, but he doesn't know if he should ask for that, either. Maybe he doesn't need to do anything at all. He can just love her as hard as he can, and everything else will work out.

"Not even for one of those muscley superhero types?" she asks, tilting her head back to get a better look at Steve. "I've seen that one with the metal arm around Darrow, he's quite handsome."

And so not her type. He's too big. Too broody. Maeve needs to be the one with the bad attitude in a relationship, she doesn't imagine two people who are perpetually grumpy would do anything but make each other worse off in the long run.

She doesn't want to be with anyone else, though, she's sure of that.

"Oh, please. You definitely prefer my hairy chest over all those muscles," Steve teases, looking down at her as he playfully digs his fingers into her sides, tickling her as he kisses the side of her head.

While she's distracted with squirming, Steve shifts out from under her and then gets on top of her, stretching out over her on the sofa. He laughs and tickles her again, leaning in to press kisses under her jaw.

"You want me to put on spandex? Is that it?" He grins and bites gently at her neck, laughing happily. "Or is it the cape that gets you going?"

"Definitely the spandex," she answers, smiling up at him, her lips pulled between her teeth. "It leaves nothing to the imagination. You can see every edge. Every... bulge."

She wrinkles her nose and laughs.

"The cape is just silly," she informs him. "It's going to get caught in things, you'll end up being pulled into an airplane engine if you're the sort who can fly. No capes."

"No capes, but yes to spandex," Steve says , humming as he drags Maeve's shirt up over her bra and casually faceplants into her cleavage, nuzzling between her tits just because he feels like it, biting at the edge of one cup before lifting his head again. "Maybe that'll be my Halloween costume, huh?"

He reaches back behind his head and pulls his t-shirt off, tossing it aside before leaning in to take her face in his hands and give her a lingering kiss. "The first one that comes to mind is Spider-Man, but he's actually here now, so that's probably out."

When he pulls off his shirt, Maeve drags her fingertips against his chest. Steve was right, she much prefers the hair on his chest to any of those muscle bound hairless superhero sorts. There's something sexy about a man with hair on his chest.

"Spider-Man is in Darrow?" she asks. "Have you met him in or out of his suit?"

And does the poor bloke even know he's from a comic book and a whole slew of movies she's never paid much attention to?

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[for maeve, early september]

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